Pretoria, ZA: In a move that astonished members of parliament, President Jacob Zuma issued a surprise executive order today legalising the possession, sale and cultivation of marijuana in South Africa. The order will take effect on April 20 2008, long considered marijuana smokers' independence day, 420.
When asked about the sudden change of heart, President Zuma explained; "The other night Mbeki, Modise, Motlanthe and I were in the war room mulling over how to sway public opinion on the effects of Zimababwe elections and other issues on South Africa. We were stuck in the same rut of tired old ideas and were in desperate need of creative new ways of thinking. That's when one of the executives pulled out a fatty." While Zuma admitted that it had been 30 years since his last toke, he figured, "Why not. I am the President. What can they do, arrest me?"
The President made the announcement in his monthly radio address, saying that it's "high time" we reformed our dagga policies. "The reality is," said the President, "dagga is far less dangerous than alcohol or tobacco and far too many people have had their lives ruined after being arrested for nothing more than a doobie. Besides, my ANC executive committee have not sounded this good since my days in Umkhonto We Sizwe."
Newly suspended Jackie Selebi hailed the move as a great step forward for South Africa.. Thankfully we finally have a president who has come to his senses on this issue, albeit with a little help from his old friend Mary Jane." Selebi went on to announce that his first move will be to free all marijuana smokers currently incarcerated, and to form a commission to study reparations for all former marijuana prisoners.
Former Drug Czar Glenn Agliotti, when questioned about the executive order outside of the SilverSands Casino in Swaziland, could only mutter, "I need a joint."
Meanwhile marijuana smokers nationwide took to the streets to celebrate their newfound freedom. A haze of sweet smelling sativa smoke wafted over the nation's capitol as South Africans of all walks of life flooded the streets for the first ever legal smoke-in. The gathering featured over a million people, without a single arrest. "This is the best day of my life," said local pap and wors vendor , "I ran out of pap and wors two hours ago and now they're buying up all the buns. Thank you President Zuma!"
For more information, have a happy April Fools Day. To help make the above scenario a reality, join NORML today at www.norml.org.za
Ripped from NORML.ORG